When I die …
By Thriftcriminal | January 6, 2009
… it will be because of a sneeze.
I sneeze hard.
Sometimes my arms ache afterwards.
I’m pretty sure that’s not right.
Still, sneezing is supposedly the next closest thing to an orgasm, so there could be worse ways …
Topics: Blather | No Comments »
City states: the way forward :-)
By Thriftcriminal | January 6, 2009
In any workplace there are many roles that need to be filled. As a rule, if you talk to any one individual in that organisation they will value their job above many, if not all, others. They have an intimate knowledge of the job they do and all of the complexities associated with it, as well as being all to familliar with how others in the company carry an oversimpilified view of their vital task. They believe that without their sterling effort all would be lost. And they are right, it would be lost, but they forget that they are also a link in the chain and while I, as an engineer, might feel that a marketing department underrates my effort in the big scheme of things, it is equally true that I underrate their vital contribution. It’s kind of natural. And as long as each link in the chain continues to put in the effort for the final result, that’s OK.
Now, this is not restricted to individuals. The same can be said of divisions within a large company. The sales department is absolutely vital, but the techies have little time for them, in fact they are often viewed as a burden, preventing otherwise effective technical activities with annoying things like customers, while sales looks upon the technical obsticals to their request as mere whinging.
I think we have a bad case of this in this country.
I think that the government, associated hangers on, and banks etc. have a seriously over-inflated opinion of their importance in society in Ireland and are acting in accordance with this view, preserving their own skins and the status quo in lieu of getting the job done properly. I am loath to view it as a conspiracy, because while I do believe all people are a bit shit, I think there are actually very few people that are complete shit. No, these are genuine decisions made from a distorted viewpoint that is fundamentally unaware of the distortion. It is cultural. It is systemic. And it is very very tough to undo.
To combat this how about implementing a bit more regional autonomy? This is, I will grant you, inefficient. But, the perspective I have is one of balance, in that if you fracture the system into enough squabbling parts then they will either destroy themselves or achieve an acceptable equilibrium where the various factions are ballanced and no consolidated source of power exists to be usefully corrupted.
Go on the real capital!
Topics: Blather | 4 Comments »
A bad workman blames his tools
By Thriftcriminal | January 4, 2009
A somewhat patronising couple of sentences whizzed past me today. They could be summarised as “We’ve made such phenomenal progress with this oil stuff that it would be catastrophic to take a backwards step, and if oil really is running out the lets get splitting some atoms”. In particular my suggestion that the donning of a wooly jumper and use of a wood burning stove was hardly a return to the dark ages was met with “ask anyone alive before the 1940’s how much fun it is to heat a house with an open fire”.
Well, as I was raised by two people who were born in 1914 and 1918 I was fairly au fait with conditions in those days. Here are few snippets of information regarding then and now (hey look, I can do patronising too!)
- Open fires are approximates 15% efficient. In other words 85% of the heat goes up the chimney.
- A basic wood burning stove costing about €700 is (on average) 65% efficient
- A decent wood burning stove can be as high as 90% efficient, granted that’ll put you back a few grand though.
- Houses these days have a funny thing called insulation that was somewhat lacking pre-1940.
- They also Have this mad idea called double glazing. But I’d suggest triple.
- I have a small stove (max 5kW) that enables my to have an annual gas bill that is 25% of that incurred by some other people I know. Granted I do not obsessively maintain tropical temperatures in my home, but my wife and kids are quite comfortable and familliar with the idea that if they are a bit chilly a fleece or jumper is a very efficient way to keep snug.
- I spent €200 on wood 4 months ago. I don’t anticipate needing more for another 8 months.
- If I upped the stove to a more sophisticated model with a back boiler I could drop my gas bill even further.
So in summary, the refusal to consider “backward” techniques because they are not part of the “modern” model is the height of foolishness. Using modern technology on an individual level, in conjunction with appropriate skills from our past can work extremely well. The blindness of many who have locked their minds so solidly around the prevailing paradigm never ceases to amaze me and, as a chap who likes a bit of DIY, I am particular about using the right tools for my requirements.
Topics: Thrift, narky | 6 Comments »
What goes around . . .
By Thriftcriminal | January 4, 2009
Seemingly signs saying “No Irish Need Apply” have been cropping up in Polish building sites.
See, there’s always a good reason not to be a dick.
Topics: Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
Dominion
By Thriftcriminal | December 31, 2008
I was in my bed. Hung over. Waaaay too much celebration of an arbitrary instant in time.
Blearily I looked towards the window and noticed a strange little figure standing on my torso. Must be one of the kids toys, not the usual thing they get though. It was neither pink nor a small mammal in overly cute dickensian garb. In fact it is fairly grotesque, with grey-ish skin, a pair of riding boots, those odd jodhpurs that get all baggy around the upper thighs, a green tailed coat and a rather garish red sash running from left shoulder to right hip across a decidedly portly belly. On it’s head rested a napoleonic hat above a frog-like face. In it’s hand it held a flag.
As I stared in an unfocussed manner, wondering vaguely where it had come from and why the girls had chosen to plonk it on me while I slept, it moved it’s head slowly from side to side! It was clearly surveying the scene. Noticing me it adopted an aggressive stance and spoke:
“I, Captain Lardarse, claim this midriff as my dominion!”
“What”
“You heard me”
“Fine, well I’ll be back cycling next week, that’ll put paid to that idea”
It’s eyes narrowed.
“You challenge my claim eh? Very well. Let the battle lines be drawn!”
Topics: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
Parenthood Haiku
By Thriftcriminal | December 29, 2008
I love my kids so.
But man they drive me insane.
Bet they feel the same.
Topics: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »
T+1
By Thriftcriminal | December 26, 2008
Ah, the day after.
Yesterday was very successful. My eldest announced that it was the best day of her life. My youngest has a bit more of an even keel, but was pretty delighted. They were considerate enough to not wake up until 8.15.
Now I am listening to them bicker while I munch Bran Flakes to flush through the excess of yesterdays grubbage.
I think a walk in Knocksink is called for.
Topics: real life | 4 Comments »
A Blogmas Carol
By Thriftcriminal | December 23, 2008
(To be circular, Jo is here)
The world is grey and texture-less. Two dimensional. Monochrome.
There are others, stacked alongside them. Copies of themselves, doing different things, but wrapped now, faint light filtering through the brightly coloured paper, not enough to bring them to life, just frozen in time.
The package is picked up and shaken. No sound to speak of. Nothing moves in their frozen world.
Pick. Pick. Pick. Ah, purchase is found on the red and gold paper and it is torn in an enormous rrriiiiiiipp.
“Cool, books, wow, ten of them. The first ten secret seven books, excellent!”
“That’ll keep you busy”
“You don’t have any of them already do you?”
“No, I’ve read a couple in the library alright, but this is magic.”
“When you were three you had the first one on tape, never used to let your mother put anything else on the stereo, just sit there listening to the story over and over”
Life light and colour rushes into their world suddenly, like it has done a hundred thousand times before, each time a little different. This time Peter finds himself wearing a green jumper, Scamper is a little less red and a bit browner than usual. The shed is shaded by an enormous tree that is busy undermining a dry stone wall that runs along side it. The other side of the wall there is a lane way, with rolling fields beyond.
Of course it is winter and an adventure lies ahead as it has done so many times, but Peter, Janet and Barbra, Colin, George, Jack and Pam never grow bored because every adventure is in a new world spun by a unique imagination.
“Password”
“Rabbits” Said Colin
“Rabbits” echoed Jack and the others in turn.
“Where’s your badge Jack?”
“I’m awfully sorry, but I think Susie’s got it. I hid it in my drawer, and it was gone when I looked for it this morning”
They continued their meeting. The shed smells faintly musty and the weak sunlight slanting through the window catches motes of floating dust. There is a shelf behind Peter that has an array of old flower pots at one end, including one that is quite broken.
“So that’s decided then. Hang on who are you, how did you get in here?”
“Err, who me?”
“Yes, what’s your name?”
“Thrifty?”
“Well this is a secret society you know, we don’t let just any old person in. What are you doing here”
“I……I don’t know, I was reading in my aunt’s house and, and now I’m here”
“Who is your aunt?”
“Sally”
“And why are you in her house”
“It’s Christmas day, we always go over there for Christmas dinner”
“Why aren’t you eating then?”
“It hasn’t started yet. I just got these books and started reading them”
Pam chimes in “Aren’t there any other children to play with”
“Only my cousin, and he’s only three”
“Thrifty! Thriiiiifty. Oh for God’s sake, where is that child?”
“What?”
“There you are, come on, it’s time for Christmas dinner”
“OK, coming”
Makes his way up from the nook he’d found in the basement, eager for turkey, not so keen on the sprouts he’ll be forced to eat too.
…………………………
Sitting on a shelf. Grey and monochrome. Waiting for an imagination to breath life into their world.
“Here Jane, I’ll read this one to you. It was one of my favourites when I was a kid. Apparently I would listen for hours to a tape of the story when I was three ……”
This time Peter has a red fleece. Moving with the times. The tree is smaller and surrounded by shrubs, there is a scattering of half melted snow on the ground.
The adventure begins again.
————————————————————-
Topics: Blogmas | 18 Comments »
It’s coming…..
By Thriftcriminal | December 23, 2008
Topics: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Certain uncertainty
By Thriftcriminal | December 22, 2008
Apparently (I read recently) two thirds of Irish pension holders have defined benefit pensions.
Not for much longer.
Oh, I doubt that those in the public sector will loose theirs any time soon. But the rest of them, well their days are numbered. I expect it will follow a similar path to that taken by a company I worked for:
“It has emerged that due to the volatility in the markets the pension is under-funded”
(The shares tanked and the fund is fucked)
“There are several options available to address this shortfall at this time”
(We screwed the pooch, but we never get screwed)
“Firstly we could inject sufficient capital to address the shortfall”
(Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah right)
“Secondly we could [insert obscure course of action here]”
(We won’t do this, but if we only present two options it looks bad)
“Lastly we can wind the fund up”
(Lastly we could wind you up)
So let’s face it, if your fund is rather fucked and you work in a business that is experiencing a degree of difficulty and might need to be purchased in the not too distant future (like, say, a bank!) which of the above options is going to make your organisation a more attractive proposition?
In fact, seeing as it appears that the tax payers are likely to be the ones owning a goodly chunk of the banks I’d say it was the patriotic thing to do. I mean I don’t want to be footing the bill for some smug be-suited fuck in a bank to retire on 2/3 of his/her final salary only to be faced with the stale Rollo and chewing gum wrapper that my DC pension is likely to give me.
Might set a bit of a precedent if the government starts wrapping up DB pensions though, hmmm……
Topics: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »